In the past twelve months at least ten people have committed suicide here. In the past week alone, three people. One of those happened to be a twelve year old boy. I can’t even grasp the fact that so many people have felt like they had no one to talk to and that nothing could get better. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I’ve never thought about it - everyone has, but to actually go through with it is a totally different story. As hard as it is sometimes to even think of getting out of bed and get through the day, I could not do that to my family, I don’t think they could handle it. I know I couldn’t handle it if someone I was incredibly close to decided that their lives weren’t worth it without at least trying to talk to me about it. I’m not saying that talking will fix everything, but it’s worth a fucking try.

I once told my Mother, in all seriousness, that I didn’t want to exist anymore. What she got from that was that I wanted to kill myself. I guess in a way, maybe I did. She looked at me and said “If you kill yourself that’s it. Death is forever.” I already knew this, but having her say it to me made all the difference. If I had killed myself, I’d miss out on so much. Some days I fucking hate everything and nothing and no one seems worth it. A lot of the time, I am miserable. But even on those really fucked up days, something will make me smile. There is too much beauty in the world to quit and I’m reminded of that everyday.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, it can’t be shit all the time. Things are always changing, for better or worse. As Bukowski said: What matters most is how well you walk through the fire. I don’t give a shit if we’re not friends, if you need me to listen to you, then speak the fuck up. Talk to me, or someone else, before you decide your life isn’t worth it. Do not give up when there’s still something to hold onto. Pick yourself up and move the fuck on from whatever it is that’s messing with your head. You’re worth it and if you’re not going to keep going for someone else’s sake, at least do it for your own. Don’t throw it all away when it means so much. You are important. Your life matters - remember.

Taken from x




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Super cute The Simpsons cereals!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Thursday. Means this week is almost over. Means i've almost successfully survived through 2 weeks of work yesssss. Internship is boring. I don't care if i would regret saying this but i really wish they would give me more work to do. Time is ticking by so very s..l...o..w..l..y today

It's only 4:42 oh my god...... meh

I kinda miss Zouk sausage mash

I kinda miss posting my face here

I kinda miss my bed... No i really do miss my bed.

Day 5

Today is my 5th day at work and i'm slowly getting used to the things people do and talk around here.... Things i never knew about. Mostly about arts and stuffs. They make me want to learn, learn more about what they are all doing over here. I want to be more creative, i want to be different, i want to do better than what i expect myself to be. I want to surprise myself.

Michael Zavros
1820s Regency leather sofa/Favela chair/Champion dachsund ‘Windkiedach Wiggle’/a Dale Frank 2008
Oil on canvas

Stumbled upon a couple of tumblrs and i've been browsing through page after page of some very interesting graphic designs and architectures since morning. Oh by the way, the company's laptop i'm using right now takes 1hr 13 mins to start up. Random but i just find it unbelievable ugh. Ok hop over to Typocode now x

Day 2

Twitter, formspring, twitter, hotmail, thought catalog, thought catalog, twitter.... You get my drift.

That's all i've been doing at work since 9am today. Am i the only weirdo who feels uneasy and guilty as hell when doing personal stuffs during work? Not like i want to, they just don't give me any assignments!?

This is driving me crazy. I'm bored and sleepy.

Thank god for someone on twitter who tweeted about Thought Catalog. It's keeping me (slightly) entertained. Thank you. :'''')

12:01 now. Time for lunch tata

Haunts me everyday

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Do people speak the most truth when they have alcohol in their system?

Or do people intentionally say some things because they have alcohol in their system?

My life as an intern starts tomorrow..........

I was looking forward to this day since early last semester but now i'm just dreading it. God this feeling sucks i can't even plan my other commitments properly anymore boo hoo U_U

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